If there is one thing I can say for certain is there have been a plethora of times I’ve unintentionally stripped a soul of its humanity. In that, I would replace their humaneness with whatever title or role they hold or play. Such as ALL (fill in the blank) should behave like (fill in the blank). The problem with this mindset is that billions of people hold different beliefs. So by who’s standards should one follow?
The only answer I could find was by one’s own standards. Which is the ONLY way from which we move anyway. As much as we may like to attempt to believe otherwise, we are only able to move through our own free will, in fact, it is because of our freedoms of choice, speech and will, do we cause our own demise and rise.
Which unfortunately is contingent upon the impact (along with the type of impact) one has in the masses. And it’s always towards the extreme end of the spectrum. In other words the more you are hated yields the same end results if you were loved as much (fame, fortune and/or notoriety). The results are what they are but the choice is yours. The choice is always yours. Never is the choice out of your grasp or far from reach. The stumbling block comes when choices has to be made. And the mere fact we get to choose which thoughts to hold leaves room for self — sabotage. Not intentionally…but nonetheless.
You see, we make choices based on the level of discomfort and/or pain involved. It’s a handy tool for self preservation but not so helpful psychologically. And I get it. Why suffer great pain for an unknown outcome when we can suffer lesser pain with a known outcome? The problem is in the end you would have been suffering when you didn’t have to. This is not to say it would be painless. No — Not at all. Truth be told it will be quite painful. At least it was for me.
It’s one thing to lose a person but I’ve bared witness to the loneliness of losing connections from the ones you care so deeply about. Another way of looking at it is by imaging a moment when you had to delete someone out of your life to prohibit (on your part) any further contact. And to ensure they don’t have open access to you they’ve been blocked from doing so. But what I’ve discovered is that it is in those moments I not only made the choice to do so, I made decisions and acted on them. In other words, I took charge of my life! Which is the only thing I’ve ever wanted. Charge of my life.
Life was happening to me between the ages of 9 to 39 I never had charge of my life. From being sexually abused between the ages of nine and twelve (when I committed my first suicide attempt); to being bullied and emotionally and physically abused, charge of my life was nonexistent for me. To be quite frank, it was never a possibility. For me Life was happening to me. As opposed to life happening by me.
When life began to happen by me, I was able to take full charge of my life. While it may not have been an easy transition it wasn’t unbearable. Truth be told I found it quite interesting as I was able to observe myself fully as I engaged in acts I normally would have not. Such as complement someone on their hair color or something as simple as an accessory. After sometime I began to notice people go out their way to be notice under the guise of just in case I’m noticed. Others feel good when a choice they’ve made is of good taste. Despite what they may have heard otherwise.
The other side of the spectrum to that is that I became a bit condescending. I wanted to take charge of the lives of others. Unable to do so, I became snubbing. Not intentionally of course but that’s neither here or there. In the end that’s what I became. A characteristic I am far from proud of but not ashamed of. Why? Because without the experience I would not be able to relate. And the mere fact I can ‘relate’ on multiple levels I am valuable. Which makes You valuable. Because what goes for me goes for you. We are all equal in the ‘Eyes’ of the Lord.
When I fully realized God don’t make junk, making beauty in the eyes of the beholder, I found life doesn’t happen by me at all but in fact life was happening in me. Talk about a rush! A whole new world opened up to me. For this meant life was within me for my own personal and intimate experience and the outer environment assisted in my doing so. It was in this space did I become emotionally intelligent and self — aware. Accepting more responsibility for my actions and reactions lead me to see life happened for me!
That’sright! Life catered to me. Here I became very familiar with the Laws of Attraction. I knew without a shadow of a doubt the universe had my back. There was nothing I received, nor can or will there ever be, anything received I didn’t call for. To which I will admit was the most trying time for me. Now it was nothing for me to take credit when things went right but it’s a whole different ball game when things goes south. I didn’t like the feeling of being at fault or the cause of whatever. Like really…who does? But you know what I learned during this process? Life happened through me!
What would your life look like if you truly believed life happened through you? What type of lifestyle would you lead? What if you could do what brings you the most joy every moment of the day? What would it look like? What would you be doing? How welcoming would you be with the stressors that comes with it? These were questions I asked myself and I began the process of envisioning myself in different scenarios. I saw myself as a wellness coach. Then as a teacher. Lastly, as a minister. After becoming certified as a Life Coach I decided I also wanted to teach. I also knew I didn’t want to teach about academics but the spiritual being and their human experience. But first I had more to learn and much more to experience. I find experience to be the best teacher. Anything outside of that is here say.
Upon doing so, God became a major foundation in my life. Realizing I am God seen as me I experienced another paradigm shift where it became clear life is me.
The aforementioned is a demonstration of my shifts in consciousness. Each one providing lessons learned about myself and opportunities for expansion. These shifts or as I like to say, “Level ups”, has brought me to this point in my life. A point where I can minister to others without guilt, pressure or shame. For I realize I too am having my own human experience. And with the human experience sin and faults comes with it.
I also understand and except there are others out there who holds expectations with each role and title. But those are theirs and not necessarily my own. I will make mistakes and others may or may not be affected by them, to which some I will have remorse for while others I may not. It’s all a part of the human experience.
And it has been my experience the best way to help someone heal (minister to) is by teaching a new way of being by gaining insight into what has been forgotten. It’s not about condemning, punishing or reprimanding. But instead, teaching a new discipline so one can cultivate a new way of being. It’s about choices and consequences albeit desirable or undesirable. It’s about better usage of our sovereignty as we allow God to use our vessel to shine through us individually.