Have you ever wanted to do what you felt in heart to do but didn’t out of fear of the outcome? Now I don’t know about you but I have on many occasions. Especially when it came to doing what’s right in the ‘eyes’ of God. Like being forgiving to those who either hurt me or pissed me off. Forgiveness was something I couldn’t see myself doing. This was due to multiple reasons. One, I didn’t want to appear weak. I believed others would think of me as weak and take advantage of me. Leaving me to look like Bobo the clown. Another reason was a lack of understanding what forgiveness truly was. I had not realized forgiveness is pardoning one’s behavior without an apology. It’s about understanding and accepting their ignorance. In other words I did not know I shouldn’t fault someone for not knowing better. Now when I say “Know better” I’m not speaking conceptual wise but experientially. For it is only through personal experience can someone really know any one thing. Without direct exposure only a belief can be held.

I also wasn’t aware holding grudges did me more harm than good. Here I was believing I was ‘showing them’ without knowing I was destroying myself in the process. I was cutting myself off from God, goodness, Truth and love. All of which we all yearn for, yet, are reluctant to provide same to someone else. It wasn’t until I caught wind of the Laws of Attraction, vibrations and frequencies, along with the biblical teachings of Jesus. All of which provided me with understanding, balance and harmony.

Here’s how forgiveness works:

When we come from a space of understanding our vibrations elevate and we emit a high frequency throughout and into to the universe. This is known as giving off positive energy. Positive energy feels good and the longer that energy is held the higher the frequency will raise. The higher the vibration and frequency the more good we’ll experience (individually). Whether it be financial, relationships or health, good is for certain. And forgiveness provides these outcomes.

However, the same goes for unmet expectations. Which is what a lack of understanding is. When we expect others to do, say and think like us and they fail to do so, we become angry, frustrated and/or resentful. These emotions and others like them carries negative energy with them. Causing us to vibrate low at its corresponding frequency recognized as negative energy. And like positive energy negative energy brings with it unpleasant and unwanted results in your finances, relationships and overall health.

In order to hold a grudge you must continue to hold the thoughts about any wrong doing. It doesn’t matter if those thoughts surface in or out the presence of the offender. The mere fact those thoughts are entertained at all shifts your vibrations. If even for a moment. And it is in those moments are you calling for negative experiences, results and outcomes.

So how does one go about forgiveness? In the same manner God forgives us. Through understanding, patience and acceptance. (Daniel 9:9 Amp) “To the Lord our God belong mercy and loving kindness and forgiveness for we have rebelled against Him. Despite us not being obedient to God’s Words we always get another chance to get it right without God ever turning us away. God understands Itself, therefore, will never hold any expectations. But rather, demonstrates acts of love and compassion. Although God doesn’t outright say we are forgiven God’s forgiveness is in how God moves on our behalf always for the greater good.

Forgiveness comes easiest when you can go in back of the words being spoken or acts willed and tap into the emotional aspect. Often times what you’ll find is a bundle of fear. Fear of abandonment, rejection, failure, safety, trust and many times love and dying. These fears causes behaviors unnatural to the spirit and rightfully so. Those are emotions for the human experience where the vibrations are so low they become dense within us. Leaving us feeling heavy and hard inside. Many call this being ‘cold hearted ‘.

The act of forgiving doesn’t come easy. You must give yourself a reason to forgive and that reason should be for you. For example, when my ex husband raped a minor in my care and molested my youngest daughter starting when she was six up until the age of ten. The first person I had to forgive was myself. I had to let myself off the hook for not knowing. I had to forgive myself for not being able to prevent it. But most of all, I had to forgive myself for bringing his presence into their lives to begin with. None of which could have taken place had I not decided to heal mentally, physically and spiritually so I can use my experiences to help others who has had the same occur in their lives.

The next battle was forgiving him, which came quite easy knowing hurting people hurts people. A fact I’m all to familiar with. I knew he had to have had suffered the same fate as a child. As such, it was the only way he knew how to regain his sense of power in the manner it was stripped.

Being molested myself from the ages of 9 through 12, I too, used the act of sex to regain my own sense of power. I used sex to get whatever I wanted. Both physical and emotional. I thought sex was the remote controlling all men. I believed for as long as I was great in bed, men would be at my beckoning call. However this was not to be the case. Even though I had their bodies (for the moment) their hearts where another matter. I found myself in one abusive relationship after another from physical to sexual. Yes it is possible to be raped by your mate. When they force you to be sexually engaged when you don’t want to but your disregarded it’s rape. No means no! Feeling powerless to stop it without letting go of the person, I had sexual relations outside the relationship. It’s all about power and control. Never about the ‘pleasures’ from the act itself. The rush came from a sense of dominance.

So I understood his state of mind and was able to pardon his actions. Would I have him back in my life today? Nope! I do have boundaries and an obligation to protect. My forgiving him is for me to be able to move forward and become as magically delicious as I can be. I need to remain light for God’s goodness, grace and love. Besides, it is known to God that every action has a reaction/response.

What situation is currently holding you back from the promises of peace and tranquillity forgiveness has to offer? Share your story below.

Podcast version

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